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Archive forMeme HeavenI have just turned in my resignation letter. September 5, 2008 is the last day for the following year and a half that I will be gainfully employed. It’s also the first time I will have been unemployed over the long term since I was 15 years old. I am terrified. Permalink Enter your password to view comments Permalink Enter your password to view comments I’ve been off the white sugar/flour for, what? 24 hours? 36? I’m going through serious withdrawl. I cannot believe how hard it’s hit me. It’s like having a vague sort of flu and seeing as I haven’t recovered from my infection yet that’s really crappy. At the same time it feels a lot like quitting smoking. It sucks, but I can tell it sucks because I’m craving something that’s a quick fix. Honestly, I think that I cut my calories today by at least two thirds just getting rid of those two things. Mostly I had fruit and nuts. I just had a snack of melba toast and peanut butter, not because that sounded really good, but because I feel so crappy I’m worried that my blood suger is too far below what my body is accustomed to. If you’ve got nothing to do tonight, could you shout out some encouragement? I’m dying, here. Thanks, Peeps. xoxo You scored 18 Ego, 16 Anxiety, and 20 Agency!
IT was going to be one of Rabbit’s busy days. As soon as he woke up he felt important, as if everything depended upon him. It was just the day for Organizing Something, or for Writing a Notice Signed Rabbit, or for Seeing What Everybody Else Thought About It. It was a perfect morning for hurrying round to Pooh, and saying, “Very well, then, I’ll tell Piglet,” and then going to Piglet, and saying, “Pooh thinks–but perhaps I’d better see Owl first.” It was a Captainish sort of day, when everybody said, “Yes, Rabbit ” and “No, Rabbit,” and waited until he had told them. You scored as Rabbit! ABOUT RABBIT: Rabbit is generally considered Clever by his many friends and relations. He is actually a much better reader and writer than Owl, but he doesn’t consider it worth mentioning. Instead, Rabbit’s real talent lies in Organizing Plans. He organizes rescue parties, makes schemes to reduce Tigger’s bounciness, and goes on missions to find out what Christopher Robin does when he’s not at the Hundred Acre Woods. Sometimes, however, his Plans do not always go as Planned. WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are smart, practical and you plan ahead. People sometimes think that you don’t stress or worry, but this is not the case. You are the kind of person who worries in a practical way. You think a) What are my anxieties about and b)what can be done about them? No useless fretting for you. You don’t see the point in sitting around and waiting for things to work out, when you could actually work them out today and save yourself a lot of time and worry. Your friends tend to rely on you, because they know that they can trust you help them work things out. You sometimes tend to be impatient with people who are less practical in their ways. You don’t have much patience for idiots who moan about things but never actually DO anything about them. You have high expectations of everyone, including yourself. When you don’t succeed at something, or when something goes wrong despite your best efforts to prevent it, you can get quite hard on yourself. You need to cut yourself some slack and accept that everyone has their faults, even you, and THAT IS OKAY. Let yourself be faulty, every now and then, for the sake of your own sanity. No showers for everybody! In lieu of a good plumber, however, the Godiva chocolates I received this morning from a very sexy man will do. Who needs a shower when there’s a rediculously high cocoa content and a hot butt around? NOT ME THAT’S WHO!
Recently I posted something wherein I meant that, because comments always tanked when I got too crazy or negative for too long, I find myself reluctant to be honest if the honesty means continued negativity or craziness. I find myself self-censoring for the comments. This is stupid. I totally understand why people would stop commenting when I’m in a ranting and raving mode for a long time, and I sympathise. What I meant was that I need to get over myself and just write the truth anyway. I need to stop looking at this, no matter how secretly, as a popularity contest. Nobody is giving me a book contract and when I go crazy people can’t think of things to say. So what?! Unfortunately I think I came across as chiding people for not leaving comments, which is not what I meant at all. Many lovely people left me notes in the post and I’d like to respond to them here, out in the big public, so that you all can see what wonderful people I know through the mad whirlwind of the internets, and also so that these people can be sure to see my response to them. Because they deserve it. Everyone that commented was a woman. Every one was wonderful. See original post and comments here: Responses: Baggage - I would totally give you a book deal. I’m thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow and I hope it turns out to be difinitively something that is totally not a big deal and that they fix when they are in there and it never bothers you again. A slow leak, perhaps, that just needs some poly to fill it? Please be okay. xoxoxo. Mayhem - Like I said in the comments, I absolutely understand people not commenting. For the record, you can always, always shout me out a hang in there and it won’t seem weird or dismissive. Don’t worry about being repetitive or anything, but also don’t feel like you have to comment. I value everything you’ve said here and don’t want you to feel obligated. Kristina - You are marvelous. Please don’t feel like you have to try harder or comment more. I’m just happy you’re reading. Look! Cool person reads my blog! W00T! Bella - What can I say? You’ve been an inspiration from day one. You’re my hero. I hope you’re feeling better! Artie - Thank you for responding and thank you for saying that what I write is interesting. I guess when I write and I’m feeling crazy and it’s all coming from somewhere almost outside myself I worry that I’m coming across as “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH”. First, I need to stop worrying about that and just blah if I have to, but also I wanted to say thanks for telling me that maybe it’s not always like that. It’s a great comfort. Also, I’m telling you: There are book. deals. everywhere. these days but, alas, we have missed the boat. Mercy - I promise to never put a pink unicorn up on my website. I also promise that if you tell me that what I write is so much like you I will be totally flattered. Please feel free to say that over and over again and hork my every emotion, because I totally don’t care about keeping them to myself. I’ll hang tough like NKOTB, and you do the same, okay? (PS - did you hear they are considering a reunion? I’m utterly serious.) Mom - This one was the hardest to read and I’m actually writing it last (even though it appears in the middle). I’d love to tell you that no matter what you write I won’t care, but you’re my mom so what you think of me is infinately more important than what anyone else thinks. For what it’s worth, I value greatly the amount of commenting you do on my blog, and the only thing I’ve ever been here is thankful that you’ve weighed in and that you’ve added your voice. I value your voice so much. Thank you for every comment, you do a wonderful job with them, and keep commenting, okay? Also, thanks for the vote of confidence; it makes me feel better. You are a great mom. xoxoxo ELEE - You do NOT owe me a donation as you are about to drop another small person into the world. In fact, as I’m writing this, you may be birthing a whole new life. That’s more important than anything. I have a firm belief that those with new babies take priority over just about anything. But thank you for stopping by with the love, it means a lot to me. You are going to have a blast with the new wee one. Your family will have sound that is even more full; the song will be the same, just richer. Thinking of you, sweetie. Dawn- Stop that immediately. I’m so not smarter than you in any way. You do write like you talk, which is why I enjoy reading your blog, which I do. If you think of something to say to me then please, please write it down and tell me. I value what you say so much. Of course, if you’ve got nothing and are just reading, that is also cool. Thank you for saying such nice things and I think those same things about you. xoxox (Also W00T for you!!!! How exciting!) Lori - Thank you so much for your comment. It really hit me. Please know that in my brain the sort of compulsive self-honesty that goes on is not bravery, it’s necessity. It’s not a choice I make or that’s better than not being harsh or self-examinatory, it’s just a coping mechanism I developed to combat the strange perceptions in my life. I’ve found that, in my own head, when I find a truth for me it rings like a struck bell and can cancel out the information I’ve been getting from others. For me, it’s absolutely self-preservative to say, over and over again, THIS IS ME. I have to, over and over again, break out of the echoey room where I can’t tell which way is up. I can’t function like that, with my hands over my head. It’s not brave at all, it’s pure survival. Thank you all for reading, thank you all for posting, and if there are folks out there reading and not posting, that’s cool. Thank you so much for reading. xoxo KP God, I love love love hair day! The goal this time was to go a little bit bobby, a little bit punk rocker without losing the professional edge I need and also without flipping over into man-hair territory or being too soft or making me look to porkey. I think the nail was hit on the head, yes I do. THE LATEST “DANGEROUS” KP HAIRCUT:
KP SAYZ: MUY PLEASED! I has been awarded a prize!
Bella gave it to me because she totally wants to be my friend and also because she thinks I was totally brave, totally. Having read some of the blogs of my co-winners, I can safely say that I think I’m the crassest and least talented amongst them, but I can also safely say that I’m better reading than a Bazooka Joe wrapper. I have trouble doing justice to protracted profundities. It’s not that they aren’t accurate or meaningful, it’s just that I tend to start feeling bored and writing snarky notes to others during the sermon. I know deep and abiding things about myself, but if I think about them too much (and frankly I tend to think about them more than your average bear) my vision turns all navel-gazey. So it means a lot to me to get this prize, because I’m more pragmatic than poetic, and it validates me. I have other things to say to you, but I’m sort of gathering together the thoughts like fireflies. I will unleash them in a blinding manner shortly. I will also give five others the Lion award. In summary: WATCH THIS SPACE. |
Email Me Dooce takes pictures every day with a Nikon D70 I take pictures occasionally with a Sony Ericsson wireless phone.
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