About Commenting
Recently I posted something wherein I meant that, because comments always tanked when I got too crazy or negative for too long, I find myself reluctant to be honest if the honesty means continued negativity or craziness. I find myself self-censoring for the comments.
This is stupid.
I totally understand why people would stop commenting when I’m in a ranting and raving mode for a long time, and I sympathise. What I meant was that I need to get over myself and just write the truth anyway. I need to stop looking at this, no matter how secretly, as a popularity contest. Nobody is giving me a book contract and when I go crazy people can’t think of things to say. So what?!
Unfortunately I think I came across as chiding people for not leaving comments, which is not what I meant at all. Many lovely people left me notes in the post and I’d like to respond to them here, out in the big public, so that you all can see what wonderful people I know through the mad whirlwind of the internets, and also so that these people can be sure to see my response to them. Because they deserve it.
Everyone that commented was a woman. Every one was wonderful.
See original post and comments here:
Responses:
Baggage - I would totally give you a book deal. I’m thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow and I hope it turns out to be difinitively something that is totally not a big deal and that they fix when they are in there and it never bothers you again. A slow leak, perhaps, that just needs some poly to fill it? Please be okay. xoxoxo.
Mayhem - Like I said in the comments, I absolutely understand people not commenting. For the record, you can always, always shout me out a hang in there and it won’t seem weird or dismissive. Don’t worry about being repetitive or anything, but also don’t feel like you have to comment. I value everything you’ve said here and don’t want you to feel obligated.
Kristina - You are marvelous. Please don’t feel like you have to try harder or comment more. I’m just happy you’re reading. Look! Cool person reads my blog! W00T!
Bella - What can I say? You’ve been an inspiration from day one. You’re my hero. I hope you’re feeling better!
Artie - Thank you for responding and thank you for saying that what I write is interesting. I guess when I write and I’m feeling crazy and it’s all coming from somewhere almost outside myself I worry that I’m coming across as “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH”. First, I need to stop worrying about that and just blah if I have to, but also I wanted to say thanks for telling me that maybe it’s not always like that. It’s a great comfort. Also, I’m telling you: There are book. deals. everywhere. these days but, alas, we have missed the boat.
Mercy - I promise to never put a pink unicorn up on my website. I also promise that if you tell me that what I write is so much like you I will be totally flattered. Please feel free to say that over and over again and hork my every emotion, because I totally don’t care about keeping them to myself. I’ll hang tough like NKOTB, and you do the same, okay? (PS - did you hear they are considering a reunion? I’m utterly serious.)
Mom - This one was the hardest to read and I’m actually writing it last (even though it appears in the middle). I’d love to tell you that no matter what you write I won’t care, but you’re my mom so what you think of me is infinately more important than what anyone else thinks. For what it’s worth, I value greatly the amount of commenting you do on my blog, and the only thing I’ve ever been here is thankful that you’ve weighed in and that you’ve added your voice. I value your voice so much. Thank you for every comment, you do a wonderful job with them, and keep commenting, okay? Also, thanks for the vote of confidence; it makes me feel better. You are a great mom. xoxoxo
ELEE - You do NOT owe me a donation as you are about to drop another small person into the world. In fact, as I’m writing this, you may be birthing a whole new life. That’s more important than anything. I have a firm belief that those with new babies take priority over just about anything. But thank you for stopping by with the love, it means a lot to me. You are going to have a blast with the new wee one. Your family will have sound that is even more full; the song will be the same, just richer. Thinking of you, sweetie.
Dawn- Stop that immediately. I’m so not smarter than you in any way. You do write like you talk, which is why I enjoy reading your blog, which I do. If you think of something to say to me then please, please write it down and tell me. I value what you say so much. Of course, if you’ve got nothing and are just reading, that is also cool. Thank you for saying such nice things and I think those same things about you. xoxox (Also W00T for you!!!! How exciting!)
Lori - Thank you so much for your comment. It really hit me. Please know that in my brain the sort of compulsive self-honesty that goes on is not bravery, it’s necessity. It’s not a choice I make or that’s better than not being harsh or self-examinatory, it’s just a coping mechanism I developed to combat the strange perceptions in my life. I’ve found that, in my own head, when I find a truth for me it rings like a struck bell and can cancel out the information I’ve been getting from others. For me, it’s absolutely self-preservative to say, over and over again, THIS IS ME. I have to, over and over again, break out of the echoey room where I can’t tell which way is up. I can’t function like that, with my hands over my head. It’s not brave at all, it’s pure survival.
Thank you all for reading, thank you all for posting, and if there are folks out there reading and not posting, that’s cool. Thank you so much for reading.
xoxo
KP
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