A Nomination

So I was futzing around over at ELEE’s blog, as I am wont to do, when I found that she had participated in the She’s Funny That Way Day.  Nominations are due by the end of the day today, and goddamn it, I have someone to nominate.

The person who has been turning my humor crank on a regular basis is Laura from The Way Things Are.  Observe these gems:

I hope when I go to prison, that it’s like that movie with Ashley Judd – what was it? – where you fight those bitches off your first night, using your mad defensive skillz and a club cleverly devised from your bed frame, and from then on, because you have proven yourself to be worthy, it’s all camaraderie and working in the beauty shop, didding each other’s hair. And cooking in my Compact Kitchen for all my bitches. Look at that tiny little sink!

I can’t wait.

 

Also, I smell like Fritos when I wake up. If you’re DW, you find that wildly attractive, but the rest of the world does not want to experience my Morning Frito essence, so a morning shower, even at the risk of draining the water lines, is essential. When I ask him “Do I smell like Fritos to you?”, he always answers “No,” but I think he’s just being polite.

 

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This morning for breakfast, it was the egg. But really, why do we limit this question to chickens? Didn’t everything in the Animal Kingdom (there’s the Animal Kingdom, the Plant Kingdom, and then there are the wily slime molds, which demonstrate characteristics of both at certain times in their life cycles – HEY, I GUESS I DID LEARN SOMETHING IN COLLEGE) at some point come from a fertilized egg? What came first, the baby or the egg? The egg, obviously. Then came the sperm, then came the baby. There, I’ve solved the riddle. YOU’RE WELCOME.

So go read Laura on a regular basis, and ELEE and all the other funny women.

And for chrissake, if you think I’m sometimes amusing would you nominate me for this thing?  I never get nominated for crap like this.  PUBLICITY, BITCHES!