Please come back and spew then
I’d just like to give a shout out to the person who so very bravely posted anonymously in my gaucho pants post. Not because she (or I suppose he, but really, that comes across as stone-cold bitch, don’t you think?) upset me, but because it’s very, very funny. Let’s break it down, shall we?
Boy do you sound bitter.
The model in the picture looks like she has cankles because she HAS cankles. The pants have nothing to do with that. And if you actually think the body in that image looks like it has an eating disorder, you must be obese and desperately trying to make yourself feel better. It’s bitter jealous bitches like you that make thin people look down on and despise fatties so much. Just some food for thought, pork chop.
Boy do you sound bitter.
I do? I DO? BITTER? WHAT? Everyone knows I’m all sunshine and light. Every day I get up and look in the mirror and blow myself several thousand kisses and say to my rubenesque reflection: “Well, no need to diet today, dear! You’re PERFECTION!”
Anyone who reads this blog regularly is well aware of the fact that I luuuuuurve my body. With just oodles and oodles of warm, fuzzy thoughts and kittens. (My love handles are where the sunshine lives.)
Meanwhile Nonny there exudes self-confidence. She trolled around until she came to my blog (which she has obviously never read before) and thought to post a scathing, if moronic, diatribe chastising me for a point I didn’t even make under a pseudonym. Bravery and self-assurance abounds.
So we continue.
The model in the picture looks like she has cankles because she HAS cankles. The pants have nothing to do with that.
And thus, my point is made for me in stunning style. The poster herself assures us that the model has cankles. Assures us that it’s the model and not the pants. Because the kind folks in the publicity department at Target said, “You know, I’m tired of all those thin, pretty people modeling pants. Let’s get us a chick with cankles to model the gauchos. Yeah.”
It’s the model. Not the pants.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem. Hee hee. Moving on:
And if you actually think the body in that image looks like it has an eating disorder, you must be obese and desperately trying to make yourself feel better.
Let’s go back and take a look at what I actually said, shall we? Run the video tape:
I mean, Christ, you know that the model in that photo has an eating disorder and is, like, 70lbs and -20% bodyfat and they give her a hint of cankle.
This was not used to actually suggest that those poor pixillated legs have an eating disorder (poor pixillated, anorexic legs), but to point out through the use of sarcasm and exaggeration that models are often thinner than the normal population by a fairly extreme degree. However often I’m assured that the pixillated legs contain cankle, I’m still convinced that the model is probably a healthy, gorgeous, but thin women, whom those pants do nothing to flatter.
Exhibit A:
but I have seen them on the thinnest, loveliest women and they look terrible. They give even thin women bellies and butcrack issues and fat thighs.
Please note the use of the word “They” to indicate that the women wearing them do not have bellies and huge butts or fat thighs, but these pants play up things like crotch fat, so much as a hint of thigh fat, and make the most pert and beautiful buttocks look like two dinner hams shaking in a hammock made of gauze.
To clarify for the chronically slow of thought: It’s the PANTS I was insulting, dipshit, not the women.
It’s bitter jealous bitches like you that make thin people look down on and despise fatties so much.
Yeah, or a self-confidence problem. Or terror. Or vanity. I happen to like thin women just fine, but you certainly gave away an awful lot there, dear. Maybe it’s because you call people “fatties” that nobody likes you. Just a suggestion.
And finally:
Just some food for thought, pork chop.
rebuttal:
I hate to think what they’d do to a pork like me.
Newsflash: If I say “Hey, I’m fat” and you say “Hey, you’re fat”, it’s not really an effective insult, is it? I suppose that it’s the height of insult for someone to call you “pork chop”, but it’s not really an insult to call a pork chop a pork chop. Particularly if the pork chop doesn’t go around calling itself a salad, you know what I’m saying baby?
In conclusion: That was easily the most idiotic miss-the-point comment I’ve ever had and I’m kind of proud of it. Nonny was the perfect definition of the kind of person out there that can’t understand why people hate them, even if they are thin and don’t smell too much. Our next lesson will be on procuring and exploring a personality, as well as utilizing what little brain Nonny possesses, but I think we’ve introduced enough difficult concepts for one day.
Postscript: Nonny found Speckblog, by the way, by googling “Thin Women”. First of all: HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha! Second of all: Obsess much? Or was she just looking for other worthy folk? Or perhaps hoping to find somewhere to make fun of the fatties? We may never know.
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